


To live for the hope of it all

by lehnsherry



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Banter, Boys In Love, First Time, Gentleness, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Keith is 17, M/M, Pre-Canon, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Racing, last free night before kerberos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:35:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25580692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lehnsherry/pseuds/lehnsherry
Summary: The ride starts off as nothing but a journey less important than its destination, but - like always with Keith - it grows into a thrill of its own. The lights of the Garrison disappear into the dimming evening behind them as they race, first Keith in the lead, then Shiro, then Keith again. The vast sky above them darkens and the tiny, pure pinpricks of stars begin dotting it, and even through the harsh wind whipping around them, Shiro can hear Keith laughing.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [August](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn_0zPAfyo8) by Taylor Swift because her new album's been making me feel a lot of things recently.
> 
> Please be gentle with me, this is my first sheith fic. <3 The second chapter should be up on the 30th. It's quite smutty so look forward to that!

Shiro steps out and straightens the huge backpack on his shoulder. A cold gust of wind makes him shiver in his uniform, but the sight greeting him outside makes the weather slip from his mind completely.

Keith shoots him a half-hearted salute, not bothering to straighten up. He's out of uniform, wearing his short red-and-white jacket instead. The colours of it somehow both clash with his hair and skin tone and still make him look handsome at the same time. He’s leaning against the wall near the door, his shoulders up at his ears, hunched against the wind, his black hair tousled and soft-looking. He smiles, just a little, but his eyes are sad like they have been ever since he found out Shiro would be going on the Kerberos mission.

It kills him to have put that look there, but he couldn’t turn the mission down when it was offered to him. He's been dreaming of exploring the stars as long as he can remember, and he knows Keith understands that and forgives him for grasping the opportunity with both hands when he could. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime type of thing, but he only wishes Keith could go with him.

"Up for a spin?" Shiro asks, though he already knows the answer. It's in Keith's eyes, in the set of his shoulders and the way he turns to face Shiro as he gets closer. It's in the way Keith has been neglecting his studies and spending every available second with Shiro instead. It's in the bitterness in his words yesterday when he said they'd better find the time to celebrate his eighteenth birthday before Shiro goes, since he won't be here on the actual date.

It's three days till lift-off now, and this is his last free night. A few months ago it would've been a tough decision how to split it between Adam and Keith, but not anymore. There is only this boy, filled to the brim with ambition and skill, vulnerable but no longer Shiro's to protect. He made the decision to leave him and Earth and everything, and it cost him the last few months he might've had with Adam, if their frayed relationship wouldn't have fallen apart at some other minor setback in the meantime.

Shiro can only hope the deep friendship he has with Keith will withstand several months apart, months during which Shiro will devote himself entirely to science, and during which Keith may grow past him, may meet someone else to fill the place for 'best friend' in his heart. May become someone just that last bit stronger, enough not to need anyone to look out for him anymore.

"'Course", Keith scoffs, indicating the red helmet under his arm. Shiro knows Keith is only going to wear it for him; unsupervised, the boy is as reckless as they come, a young god who thinks himself near immortal and definitely above helmets. Shiro smiles and nudges him gently with a fist on the upper arm; Keith leans into the touch, looking up at him, serious now.

Shiro doesn't know how to read that look - or he doesn't know how to interpret it to mean anything other than what a small, shameful part of his mind wants it to mean.

“Come on then”, he says, leading the way towards where their hoverbikes are parked. “There’s a place I haven’t shown you yet.”

Keith falls into step beside him, quiet and easy, content to follow Shiro’s lead. It shouldn’t mean anything, but he can’t help treasuring that trust.

-

The ride starts off as nothing but a journey less important than its destination, but - like always with Keith - it grows into a thrill of its own. The lights of the Garrison disappear into the dimming evening behind them as they race, first Keith in the lead, then Shiro, then Keith again. The vast sky above them darkens and the tiny, pure pinpricks of stars begin dotting it, and even through the harsh wind whipping around them, Shiro can hear Keith laughing.

His flying is beautiful like it always is, every move gorgeous in its erratic recklessness, every shift and spin executed with breathtaking skill and almost-endearing arrogance. Shiro matches him mail for mail, never straying too far ahead or behind him, and they near their destination faster than he’d thought they would. The stars aren’t yet as bright as he wanted, but they have time to wait them out. Eventually he has to tell Keith to slow down, and they park the hoverbikes near an outcropping of large rocks.

“What is this place?” Keith asks as he deposits his helmet on his bike and follows Shiro up a rocky slope onto the biggest cliff.

“I found it in my first year as a cadet”, Shiro says quietly. “I needed a place to think, and it helped that I could practice maneuvers on my way here and back.”

It takes a bit of climbing, but they end up safely onto a shelf a few dozen feet off the ground.

“What did you think about?” Keith asks, a little out of breath and matching Shiro’s soft tone.

“I’ll show you”, Shiro grins and swings his backpack off his shoulders. Inside is a thermos full of hot chocolate and two blankets, thick and crinkly with several layers of insulating fabric. He spreads one on them on the cool, dark surface of the rock and gestures Keith to sit down. He does, and Shiro settles beside him.

“Lie down”, Shiro instructs quietly, and tries not to notice the way the words make Keith’s eyes widen slightly. He complies, and Shiro lies down too, pulling the second blanket over their legs to keep them warm. He turns to look at Keith, who seems to have noticed what Shiro wanted to show him. His dark eyes reflect the otherworldly sight spreading out above them; his mouth is slightly open like he was about to say something, but the words died on his tongue as he saw at the wide expanse or black sky and silver stars above them.

No light pollution here, no trees to obscure the view, no noise to distract them. It’s just the cold earth beneath them and the freezing expanse of the universe above. The rock lifts them above normal life somehow, into a space occupied only by them and the quiet of the night. Like this, it’s easy to feel how vanishingly small they are, tiny specks of warmth and life in that vast nothingness.

“This was before I met you, when I was still a cadet, trying to get used to this place and keep my head above the water... whenever I felt like I was drowning in stress, whenever I had a problem I couldn’t solve, whenever I felt overwhelmed or lonely”, Shiro says quietly, “I’d sneak out and come here, lie down for hours on end, just looking at the stars until it all fell away. There isn’t much that’ll compare to that much light and emptiness. When you look up long enough, everything down here starts feeling less significant. A bit more bearable.”

Keith hums softly, leaning his head against Shiro’s temple. “I get it. I used to climb on the roof of one of my foster homes and do the same. Until they caught me at it and made me promise not to do it anymore. Said it was too dangerous.”

“Did you seriously listen to them?” Shiro has a hard time believing that, with the way Keith was when he came to the garrison, arrogant and undisciplined and full of daring and a fierce need for adventure.

Keith laughs. “No, I just learned how to climb up there from my window in the middle of the night when everyone else was sleeping.”

Shiro laughs too, nudging Keith’s head with his own.

This feels good - sharing this place with Keith, lying here looking up at the universe. He’ll be flying through it all too soon, and even though he’s never wanted anything more than to go, these last hours on Earth are precious to him. Keith is.

“Thank you”, Shiro says quietly.

Keith turns on his side to look at him. “For what?”

Shiro gathers his thoughts for a moment, watching the stars reflected in Keith’s eyes, the way his lips turn into a small pout when he doesn’t understand what Shiro means.

“For coming here with me. For holding on even though I decided to go.” It hurts to say those words - he knew he and Adam were on borrowed time, knew their relationship wasn’t meant to last, but the breakup still hurt. Maybe especially because the reason for it was Adam’s incapability to accept Shiro doing something he’d been dreaming of since he was a little kid. He understands Adam’s point of view, he really does, knows he only wanted to protect Shiro and keep him safe, but he can’t agree. The mission is too important. His desire to leave Earth for a moment - to see its beauty from far away - to go in search of life and new wonders - is far too great to be ignored and bottled up.

“Don’t be an idiot”, Keith murmurs softly. “I’m mad I can’t go with you, but it's not like I resent you for going. I’m proud of you."

The last sentence is so quiet it’s difficult to hear, but Shiro is paying attention. He always is. Keith’s cheeks look a little darker, flushed in the cool night air, and Shiro reaches over to brush aside a lock of dark hair from Keith’s face. Those big eyes meet his, surprised, and Shiro smiles. He lets his hand quest into Keith’s hair, gently scritching, petting. It’s soft, and the vulnerable, pleased look on Keith’s face makes Shiro feel simultaneously dizzyingly light and terribly heavy.

“Doesn’t mean I’m not going to be cross with you”, Keith admits. “I’m fine now, but a few months in…”

“Feel free to tell me in your messages”, Shiro says. He knows he’ll appreciate every word from Keith, out there where it’s lonely and cold, where it takes a long time for messages to reach him. “It’ll help, to know you’re here waiting for me.”

Keith nuzzles into his hand, so trusting it makes Shiro’s heart hurt. There’s a hardness in Keith's eyes though, a defiant set to his mouth.

“You’re sure I’ll wait, huh?”

Shiro draws in a deep breath. He's been thinking about this, about them. How Keith always seems to gravitate towards him, how their friendship has always been so close anyone else might find it uncomfortable - how, if he's honest, Shiro has wanted to get even closer for some time now. How, if he dares to hope, he thinks Keith might have been showing signs he wants it too.

"I hope you will", Shiro whispers, quiet as sand shifting in the desert, soft as sunrise over the red rocks. Keith shivers, and Shiro lets his hand creep to the back of the boys neck, not pulling him forward just yet but just holding him there. "I want to come back to you."

There’s no turning back now; there’s no way to interpret those words as anything other than the confession they are.

"Fuck", Keith sighs, pained and so quiet Shiro reads the word on his lips more than hears it. "You just had to wait until you're leaving to tell me that?" He looks exasperated and fond and quietly thrilled, and Shiro doesn’t think he’s ever seen him look more beautiful.

"I was nervous. Didn't know how you'd react", Shiro whispers, and since Keith hasn't pulled away, he tightens the hold of his fingers just a little, enjoying the feel of soft hair and smooth, hot skin under his touch. Keith’s breath hitches just a little, and Shiro can feel his heart jump with it.

"If it was bad, you could conveniently run off to space to avoid dealing with it”, Keith grins wryly. “That’s almost like something I’d do. Totally heinous and immature from you, though, Mr. Pilot.”

“Brat”, Shiro answers, his tone gently teasing in kind, and Keith bumps their foreheads together.

“It’s not bad, though”, Keith continues, a smile audible in his voice even though he’s so close Shiro can’t see it now. His breath feels hot on Shiro’s face, and a faint scent of lemon shampoo and motor oil clings to him, familiar and warm.

“No?” Shiro whispers, tilting his head, smiling lips brushing against Keith’s. Keith’s laughter is a sweet thing on Shiro’s lips, a quiet sound of relief and anticipation.

“No”, the boy says, his hands finally finding their way to Shiro, one resting on his chest and the other curling into the collar of his jacket, pulling him closer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter! Hope you enjoy <3

Shiro doesn’t know which one of them takes the last step in the end, or if maybe they take it together. One moment they’re looking at each other, very close and balancing on a precipice, and the next they’ve thrown themselves over the edge and into each other. Every rational thought abandons Shiro, but he does know this is the best kiss of his life, even though it’s just a shy, brief press of lips against each other. Keith’s breath stutters out in a warm, nervous little cloud and his lips are soft. Everything about him is soft and yielding as Shiro gathers him closer and deepens the kiss.

Keith makes a happy sound, answers Shiro’s movements with his own, sloppy and unpracticed but eager, and the force of the joy Shiro feels at that makes his chest ache. He does his best to hold Keith like something precious, cradled close to his chest and held so tightly he’ll never fall, and it’s a natural progression of that to roll onto his back. Keith follows along, leaning over Shiro, the soft strands of his hair falling around their faces and tickling Shiro.

It’s been years since he kissed anyone with this kind of frantic newness, this glowing heat inside him shaking his thoughts into a mess he can’t make sense of. Keith feels small where Shiro’s hands have slid to his narrow waist under his jacket, and the noises he makes as Shiro licks into his mouth are perfect, involuntary and insistent and so _Keith._ He shifts to lie more fully on Shiro, his knee finding a place between Shiro’s thighs. His weight and warmth are a comfort, but the hardness Shiro can feel against his hip in Keith’s tight jeans makes him go wild.

“Can I touch you?” he pants against Keith’s lips, and beautiful purple-blue eyes open to meet his, full of liquid fire and need.

“Yeah”, Keith sighs, cheeks red, lips swollen and shiny. Shiro cradles his cheek in one hand, leaning up to pepper little kisses on his nose.

“What do you want?” he asks, though he thinks Keith would probably take anything he was willing to give him right now. His erection feels heavy and insistent even through several layers of clothing, and his hips are rolling slowly, the rhythm probably completely subconscious as Keith’s body blindly seeks pleasure.

“I don’t know”, Keith answers, blushing in embarrassment but still meeting Shiro’s eyes. “Everything?”

Shiro chuckles. “We’re rather pressed for time.”

“And whose fault is that?” Keith grumbles, but softens the words by nudging Shiro’s nose with his own. “Seriously, I have no idea, I just - I just want you.”

Shiro wants to tell him he loves him right there, wants to say it right into that beautiful mouth, wants to whisper it into the skin of Keith’s inner thighs before swallowing him down and worshipping him - but today isn’t the right time or place for that. A chilly rock is no place for a first time, especially not for anything complicated. If they were smart they would’ve had this conversation somewhere with a bed, somewhere private and warm, but instead they’re here and it’ll have to be enough.

“I’d like to open your jeans and get you out - it’s too cold to get properly naked, but believe me, I’d want to see every part of you if we were in a bed somewhere”, Shiro whispers and enjoys the shiver the words pull from Keith. “And I’d like to rut against you like that, feel our cocks push into my hand. Think you’d like that?”

“You have big hands”, Keith says a little stupidly, sounding dazed at the simple idea. Shiro tries not to think about how hot the thought of being Keith’s first makes him.

“I do”, he hums and cups one of them over Keith’s ass cheek over his jeans, enjoying the firmness of the muscle and Keith’s answering shiver.

“Don’t you want -?” Keith swallows the end of the question and just nudges his ass against Shiro’s hand, and, fuck. Thinking clearly is getting more difficult by the second. Keith is biting his lip, looking into his eyes with determination and nerves and _lust_ , and Shiro has no hope of surviving this.

“I really do”, Shiro admits. “I can’t wait to be able to open you up and fuck you slow and deep until you forget how to think - or have you do something similar to me, I’m not picky - but we can’t right now. It’s cold and we don’t have any supplies.”

Keith’s lower lip pushes out in an all-too-charming little pout, even as he flushes scarlet from the images Shiro’s words must fill his head with. He has to lean back in to kiss that pout, and Keith melts into it again, sighing sweetly. Shiro lets his hand slide along Keith’s side and onto his hip, and from there to the insistent bulge in his jeans. Keith whines as Shiro rubs at him through the thick fabric, slowly, just to tease.

“Come on”, Keith whispers against his lips, and then gives him a little bite with his sharp teeth. Shiro smiles, pulling him back into a deep kiss, and moves to undo the button and zipper. He slides a hand into Keith’s boxers and finally wraps his fingers around his cock.

It feels nice, the skin hot and smooth, every movement of Shiro’s fingers making Keith jerk and shiver. He takes his time exploring, pets the coarse curls at the base, slides the foreskin back and thumbs the sensitive slit and the spot right under the head, just to hear Keith pant and moan. He does, and Shiro drinks up every noise with abandon.

His own cock throbs in his jeans, so hard it almost hurts. Keith remembers it after a few torturous moments and reaches for him with deft fingers, undoing his belt.

“Come on, you too”, he says between kisses, his voice low and scratchy. “Wanna touch you too.”

“Please”, Shiro murmurs, and then groans as Keith’s fingers meet hot skin and wrap around him, giving a curious little stroke. He can barely resist pushing into the touch, and tries to give Keith time to explore instead. His skin is a little rough and cool but he’s always been a fast learner, and soon he finds a rhythm that has Shiro breathing hard and seeing stars. It’s a little faster than how he usually touches himself, and he thinks this must be what Keith is used to. He picks up the pace of his own hand and is rewarded with an appreciative moan and Keith’s hips moving, fucking into Shiro’s fist.

It's perfect, Keith is perfect, and Shiro still can’t believe his luck. Above him, Keith is shaking and the arm holding him up seems to be tiring. Shiro wants to curl up around him and protect him.

“Keith”, he whispers, “can I move you a little?”

Keith makes a soft noise of affirmation and nods, and Shiro gently pushes him back until he’s laying down on his back on the insulation blanket. The new distance between them lets him look at Keith, and as he leans over the boy to cage him against the ground, he can’t help the praise that escapes his lips.

“You’re so beautiful”, he whispers, settling over Keith with his thighs between Keith’s. The words make him shiver, or perhaps it’s just the cold air rushing between the blankets as Shiro shifts them to tuck them around his shoulders and the edges under Keith.

“Shut up and come back here”, Keith whines, needy and perfect, and pulls Shiro close. Shiro obeys, of course he does, leaning all his weight on one arm and lowering the other to reach for Keith’s cock again. It’s wet with precome at the head, and Shiro swipes the drop up to ease the glide of his hand on Keith’s skin. 

This is even better than having Keith on him, Shiro thinks as Keith resumes his touches on Shiro’s body too, now with both hands. It feels good to have Keith under him, safe and cocooned between Shiro and the rock. Keith settles there easily, relaxing and tilting his face up for more kisses. Something deep in Shiro’s chest purrs at the thought of being able to protect Keith, being the only one Keith lets close enough to even try. The only one who gets to touch this beautiful boy, the only one who hears the beautiful noises he makes as the rhythm of their hands becomes more frantic.

Keith’s hips stutter, rough and uncontrolled, and the movement bumps his cock against Shiro’s. It’s so good it startles a moan out of both of them, and Shiro moves to wrap his fingers around the both of them. His fingers can’t reach all the way around, and Keith joins in, wrapping his hands around Shiro’s.

Their grip is tight and Keith’s cock feels slick and hot and perfect against him, and Shiro can feel his control slipping away. He thrusts his hips hard, arching against Keith, and the boy answers him with a push of his hips and a rough kiss.

Keith comes first, moaning Shiro’s name sweetly against his lips, and just that sound and a few more rough thrusts into his hand are enough to push Shiro over the edge too. His muscles tense and he buries his face in Keith’s neck, groaning, and feels their come slick his hand and drip onto Keith’s clothes. He eases off Keith slightly, lying down next to him on his side again. He smiles as Keith immediately follows him and curls into his side, the cool tip of his nose pressing into Shiro’s jaw.

“Was that embarrassingly fast? I can’t tell”, Keith mumbles into Shiro’s cheek, not sounding embarrassed in the least, just content and sleepy.

“It was perfect”, Shiro tells him and tilts Keith’s head up with the hand that’s not covered in come. They share a long look, getting a little lost in each other’s eyes. Shiro has always loved Keith’s eyes, how deep and expressive they are, but he’s never seen them quite this soft and bright before. Shiro can feel a sappy smile slip onto his lips, but it’s okay because Keith looks just as happy and besotted as Shiro feels. He presses his lips to Keith’s in a new kind of kiss, sated and slow and familiar instead of new and curious or frantic with lust. He luxuriates in the warm afterglow they float in, cradling Keith’s head with one hand, holding him close.

They lie there for a long moment, trying to catch their breath between long, languid kisses. Shiro finds Keith’s cock again and continues stroking it as it softens, slowly, gently, enjoying the way Keith shivers, obviously tired and oversensitive.

“Do you want more?” Keith asks even as his hips shift first away from Shiro’s touch and then right back, like he doesn’t know whether he wants Shiro to stop or to keep going.

“I can’t, not so fast after coming”, Shiro says gently, “and we should start thinking about heading back anyway.”

Keith is starting to tremble from the cold and not just from Shiro’s touches, and the night air has stolen into Shiro’s body, chilling him to the bones. They wipe their hands on the blankets which will have to be washed anyway, and then Shiro tucks Keith gently back into his jeans. The intimacy of the gesture makes Keith flush and bury his face into Shiro’s neck for a moment, and Shiro wraps his arms around Keith’s frame, acutely aware of how much smaller than him Keith is, how well he fits in Shiro’s arms.

“I’m glad we had this night before I go”, he whispers into Keith’s hair. The boy huffs and nips the skin of his neck with his little sharp teeth.

“You better come home safe”, he says, and through the irritation and false nonchalance Shiro can hear hints of worry and sadness.

“I will, I promise. The time will pass quickly, and when I get back to you we can continue from where we left off.” He caresses Keith’s back gently, his hand settling on the curve of Keith’s ass. Keith arches his back and Shiro can feel him smiling against his neck.

“Yeah? You got plans for me?” Keith asks quietly.

“Many”, Shiro promises. “As many as you’d like.”

They really do have to get going soon, but Shiro thinks maybe it’s okay if they steal a few more moments together out here on the edge of the world, just the two of them.

Keith digs the thermos out of Shiro’s bag and they share a mug of hot chocolate, wrapped in the insulation blankets and leaning on each other, watching the first light of dawn peek from behind the horizon. Keith tastes like chocolate and warmth and home as Shiro leans in to kiss him for the hundredth time. Every kiss still feels as exhilarating as the first one.

“I don’t think I’ll never get used to this”, Shiro confesses quietly.

“To what?” Keith answers his smile with a small, beautiful grin of his own. 

“That I’m allowed to do this”, Shiro says and threads their fingers together, stealing another chocolate-sweet kiss, and another, and another.

“Just wait until you get back”, Keith whispers, “You’ll have all the time in the world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked this <3  
> I'm sorry for ending it there when we all know what ends up happening, but I have some vague plans for a new fic dealing with Shiro's expariences as the Champion and his relationship with Keith after, let me know if that's something you'd be interested in reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3 Please leave a comment to let me know what you think!


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